Tonya Harding Joins X

Vows to Take Out the Competition

PORTLAND, OR—In a move that has the internet bracing for impact, former figure skater and America’s most infamous knee enthusiast Tonya Harding officially joined X (formerly Twitter) on January 30, 2025. Within minutes of her first post, Harding sent shockwaves through the social media world, declaring, “I’m here to shake things up—just like I did in ‘94.” Harding, best known for her involvement in the infamous attack on Nancy Kerrigan, wasted no time making her presence felt. Her first post included a gif of a crowbar smashing through ice with the caption, “New year, new platform, same energy.”

Elon Musk personally welcomed Harding to X, stating, “We at X encourage all forms of competition, including the kind that requires steel pipes.” Musk also announced a new feature called “The Harding Effect,” where users can flag rival accounts for “strategic removal.” At press time, Harding had already been temporarily suspended after allegedly threatening to take down Blue Check influencers, resulting in one X member saying, “Literally, she’s the last person I want to be followed by.”